2012​-​2014

by dimanti vēnās

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released July 10, 2016

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dimanti vēnās Glasgow, UK

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Track Name: miegs
*dream*

to dream up
to record
to show
and to fall asleep

to be hit
by a dream
to count the grace

to create
and to
bore
Track Name: kailuma paradokss
*the paradox of nudity*

waking up next to a church
feeling cold
but at least it's next to a church

feeling cold
but at least it's next to a church

my friend was taken from me
by a girl
with a knife in her hand

naked girl
in a trenchcoat
but naked underneath

in a trenchcoat
but naked underneath
Track Name: kur?
i was looking for something else.
something so beautiful that i would just sit and look at it
and want for nothing else ever again

where..?
is my image

but i didn't see anything beautiful at all
searching the whole city. searching all the back alleys
on my knees
afraid to look into the mirror

where..?
is my father
is my son
is my image
Track Name: bergmana demoni
*the daemons of Bergman*

i can't go to sleep
guilt
is hiding in my bed

i wish
this film could enjoy
getting drunk

maybe it's it being November?
maybe it's me falling ill?

but i feel like
the sky is falling down
don't go out there, the sky's falling down

on my shoulders
on my shoulders, there they sit
the daemons
of Bergman

on my shoulders
on my shoulders, there they sit
the daemons
of Bergman
Track Name: grimstu
*i sink*

save me, o God; for the waters are come in unto my soul

i sink in deep mire, where there is no standing: i am come into deep waters, where the floods overflow me

i am weary of my crying
my throat is dried
mine eyes fail.

deliver me out of the mire, and let me not sink

thou hast known my shame and my dishonour

thou hast known my disgrace
my adversaries are all before thee
o God, thou art my help and my deliverer

o Lord, make no tarrying
Track Name: roze nevienam
No one kneads us again out of earth and clay,
no one incants our dust.
No one.

Blessed art thou, No One.
In thy sight would
we bloom.
In thy
spite.

A Nothing
we were, are now, and ever
shall be, blooming:
the Nothing-, the
the No-One's Rose

With
our pistil soul-bright,
our stamen heaven-waste,
our corona red
from the purpleword we sang
over, O over
the thorn.
Track Name: mēness
*the moon*

this moon is
smudged

because
it looks so
smudged

and the railroad shimmers in the night
behind my back

the moon-man is standing

what does he want?

the moon-man
the river-man

on the world's floor the vomit pillow
works
as a blueberry halo

...//indiscernible
Track Name: līdzsvars
*balance*

from the ashes
nature
is heavy with balance
Track Name: istaba
*the room*

while i'm waiting

while i'm waiting for you
in my room

thoughts come
Track Name: kīmija
*chemicals*

to lose oneself and then paradoxically lose oneself and find oneself in a different vortex and to lose the beginning and then paradoxically find the ending and put oneyourself into youroneself

...you're in a place.which is a circlearound it, a fenceis blooming.cut a small window outand witness. an insane joke:an apple treebeing
flooded
with apples falling as if from the heavens

graban axe and hit a wave,suddenly find yourself inanother circle.for this
is not a placethis. is. allyou.

some space inside
you.

where you
reside.

yourenothingbutawave...andthiswaveisnothingbut a you
Track Name: dzirdamais
*hearable*

//indiscernible

... the sounds in the blackness
the sirens which
are well-known.

//indiscernible

...this won't help
this won't do any good
i'm closing myself down there's no carats in any of these (diamonds)

the byzantine empire
isn't it so romantic?

all the same escapism
like searching for some warmth on a hard drive

//indiscernible
Track Name: nedzirdamais
*unhearable*

the air
being cut
into a gemma

from the unseeable to seeable
from the unhearable to hearable
there and back again

from the unhearable to hearable
from the unseeable to seeable
oh, and to stay there.

how often
do you see
the things that are there?

and how often
do you hear things
that weren't even never ever said?

it is a comfort for me to know that you've willed it
that i need him

it is a comfort for me to know that you've willed it
that i need him
Track Name: pirmās kustības jēga un attēls
*the meaning and the image of the Prime Mover*

there is an
unthought thought
in me. the potential is killing me.
an unthought thought is such a
discomfort

like when you're
tripping and
everything is beautiful, but
when you open your mouth
such dumb shit comes out, shocking
in its contrast with the unfathomable beauty
unfathomable beauty

love
is a God's thought
which might have been rushed when verbalised
but in it
is the meaning and the image
of the Prime Mover

the meaning and the image
of the Prime Mover
the meaning and the image
of the Prime Mover

rushed
when verbalised, but
in it you can see
the meaning and the image of the Prime Mover
Track Name: canto XXXIII
With fixed heed, suspense and motionless,
Wond'ring I gaz'd; and admiration still
Was kindled, as I gaz'd.  It may not be,
That one, who looks upon that light, can turn
To other object, willingly, his view.
For all the good, that will may covet, there
Is summ'd; and all, elsewhere defective found,
Complete.  My tongue shall utter now, no more
E'en what remembrance keeps, than could the babe's
That yet is moisten'd at his mother's breast.
Not that the semblance of the living light
Was chang'd (that ever as at first remain'd)
But that my vision quickening, in that sole
Appearance, still new miracles descry'd,
And toil'd me with the change.  In that abyss
Of radiance, clear and lofty, seem'd methought,
Three orbs of triple hue clipt in one bound:
And, from another, one reflected seem'd,
As rainbow is from rainbow: and the third
Seem'd fire, breath'd equally from both.  Oh speech
How feeble and how faint art thou, to give
Conception birth!  Yet this to what I saw
Is less than little.  Oh eternal light!
Sole in thyself that dwellst; and of thyself
Sole understood, past, present, or to come!
Thou smiledst; on that circling, which in thee
Seem'd as reflected splendour, while I mus'd;
For I therein, methought, in its own hue
Beheld our image painted: steadfastly
I therefore por'd upon the view.  As one
Who vers'd in geometric lore, would fain
Measure the circle; and, though pondering long
And deeply, that beginning, which he needs,
Finds not; e'en such was I, intent to scan
The novel wonder, and trace out the form,
How to the circle fitted, and therein
How plac'd: but the flight was not for my wing;
Had not a flash darted athwart my mind,
And in the spleen unfolded what it sought.

     Here vigour fail'd the tow'ring fantasy:
But yet the will roll'd onward, like a wheel
In even motion, by the Love impell'd,
That moves the sun in heav'n and all the stars.
Track Name: ēna
Here we go round the prickly pear
Prickly pear prickly pear
Here we go round the prickly pear
At five o'clock in the morning.

Between the idea
And the reality
Between the motion
And the act
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

Between the conception
And the creation
Between the emotion
And the response
Falls the Shadow
Life is very long

Between the desire
And the spasm
Between the potency
And the existence
Between the essence
And the descent
Falls the Shadow
For Thine is the Kingdom

For Thine is
Life is
For Thine is the

This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper.
Track Name: laktoze
*lactose*

i was measuring
measuring
measuring
how much tobacco i've left
but you already know it

i know that you're watching
i'm watching
we've some kind of rivalry going on
who's having
more fun

i'm still finding problems:
whom to touch,
whom not to.
afraid to pollute myself

though i've got holes
in my pockets
guess i could touch myself?
wouldn't that be something new

cause i'm a white heterosexual man
cause i'm a white heterosexual man

i'm lactose intolerant but they've got
milk with no lactose at the shops
just for me

though at the pretentious beer place
they've got milk stouts
i can't drink those

and good thing i learnt
to drink my coffee black
since asking for soy all the time
would be just
so
annoying

cause i'm a white heterosexual man
cause i'm a white heterosexual man
Track Name: kaut kas, kas ir
*something that is*

the new beginning
that could trace the collapse
of German idealism

the beginning in which
one could comprehend that existence
is something that is

existence as created from
freedom and
bearing this freedom within it

from what things
gain their
emergence, there they must
come to an end

come
to and end
come
to and end

one
can only
be if one will cease to be

one
can only
be if one will cease to be
Track Name: dimanti visur
*diamonds everywhere*
Track Name: ekharts
*Eckhart*

// mostly indiscernible, random bits of text by Meister Eckhart
Track Name: dimants miegā
*diamond asleep*

// mostly indiscernible, something about nightmares (?)